Great News! Rockies 10 Braves 5

Listen when I tell you that monuments of appreciation shall be constructed to this, the most glorious loss in Atlanta Braves history. I do not exaggerate when I say that accounts of this game will be etched onto a plethora of tableaux that shall carpet the landscape as far as the eye can see. Millions of years in the future, when the human race is extinct and the monkey-men arrive in their spaceships from the as-yet-unnamed tenth planet (which will eventually be called Blarxon, by the way), one intrepid (some would say impudent, but not in this space, sir) monklet will endeavor to unravel the mystery of this "Box Score". Much of what he reads will remain an enigma, of course, but he will be able to proclaim one thing loud and clear:

"Well, that should just about do it for Dan Kolb."