FOX buys Turner South

In my South, a man can become an American citizen for the sole reason of controlling untold number of media outlets. In my South, the voice of the Braves is not Skip or Pete or Joe or Don, but a man known as the Wimperoo. A man can be the world's largest purveyor of pornography, and contribute his profits to pious Republican campaigns, in my South -- and oh, the money flows like water down the mighty Chattahoochee. I'm Rupert Murdoch, and this is my South.